Monday, May 20, 2013

Memories of X

I can remember being very young, sitting in the back seat, behind the driver...my dad.
He was drunk.
The lights were flashing, the cross bars were down and the train was near.
He raced through those cross bars...
 I don't live in yesterday and I try not to dwell in yesterday, but some fearful memories are just there..forever.
ommmm

15 comments:

Chung said...

That must have been really frightening!!! There are some things of the past that I try to forget, but some of those things I can't seem to shake, for they still haunt me to this very day.

Manzanita said...

No wonder. What a frightening experience that must have been for a child. To have someone you trust put you in harms way.

turquoisemoon said...

Chung, It was frightening...I'll never forget it. It's a memory, but it has no power over me and I simply don't dwell on it..Sheesh it happened 60 years ago...

Manznita, Funny how back in those days (early 50's) so many things, like mental illness or alcoholism, were kept secret. Dirty laundry was not hung out for all to see...

Laurie said...

those are scary memories for sure, thank fully there are good memories that stay as strong as the bad ones, I'm so sorry for this painful memory,

Arkansas Patti said...

Think that would stay with me also. My daddy also drove impaired, I just didn't know it.

turquoisemoon said...

Laurie, Thank you Laurie, but it's not as painful as you might think. I really, really don't worry or dwell on this...it's just a memory. My meditation practice has taught me to be in the present. I have really learned to control that thing called the "egoic brain-or brain chatter". I'm grateful for my practice. Dwelling on that would only drum up unhappiness and who needs that???

turquoisemoon said...

Patti, There was a lot of that back then. "We just didn't know it"...good quote!!!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I'm glad you're here to write about that memory.

turquoisemoon said...

Debra, Me Too!!!

Lisa said...

Yep. Drunk, neglectful dads will do it everytime. Lisa x

turquoisemoon said...

Lisa, I don't get that challenge to beat a train???

One Fly said...

Mix capitalism with the booze and this still goes on here. 90% of cop calls involve alcohol. We could have done soooo much better and I'm lucky during those very young years that I killed no one. Drink and drive that's the way it was. Little booze anyway now but for sure none before driving.

FYI - Never ever admit to a badge you had a ANYTHING to drink. That equals a mandatory roadside.

turquoisemoon said...

Fly, Alcoholism has touched most families in some way...very sad. Sheesh! a glass of wine, nowadays, almost puts me under the table.

Dee said...

Dear Turquoiseblue, like you I have memories of a father who was an alcoholic and put us in danger in the car many times. I've come to understand why he drank and to realize why he was a weak man, but you are right that the memories with the terror remain. Peace.

turquoisemoon said...

Dee, Yep. They remain. I never understood my dad, never. But I don't blame him for my life or the any problems in my life...I honestly can look back and see that I caused all my own problems. I quit blaming my parents a long time ago. Memories remain, but no blame and also I don't dig up any of the crappy memories. Meditation was a great help. At first I thought maybe I was just odd, then several years ago I read A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle, and realized somehow I was doing it right!!! Somehow, I stumbled onto a way to stop all that brain chatter....I consider myself very lucky!