Thursday, May 26, 2011

and a 1-2-3



"Excuse me!" she says. Now this is not a request, it's a demand for immediate attention. "I said excuse me!!!" The demand gets more urgent... " Yes, may I help you ?" I reply, as I stop my conversation with another customer. "Could you give me a sample of some of that fudge?"

Am I getting older or what??? When did the meaning of "Excuse Me" change?

OOoooh...I can remember my grandparents talking of "that younger generation" and my parents...now I'm doing it.

I listen as parents give their children an instruction. "Stop" or "Come here" Then I hear it... one, two, you're going to go to time out if I say "three!!!" Don't make me say "three"... I see the parents pleading face and a blank stare on the child's.

The other day, I was visiting a daughter-in-law. The two year old ran toward the street. She hollered, "Stop, don't go near that street and quickly added, one, two, three..." That child never stopped, stepped into the street, then defiantly turned and looked at her mom.

I was talking to one of my coworkers and he told me of an incident at his house... His daughter issued an instruction to his granddaughter. The child refused to obey. My coworker, a gentle man, commented to his granddaughter that he believed that her mother had just told her not to do that. His daughter stopped him and pointed out to him that his job, as a grandparent, was to simply love his grandchild, unconditionally.

I'm a firm believer that counting, one, two, three, gives a child time to think...do they want to obey or do what they want to just continue what they were doing??? What is going on here??? Who is in charge? When did counting become part of a command to the child? I don't get it... This is nuts or what..??

I also see parents offering long, complicated explanations as to why, "I told you..." I don't think a two year old can understand or cares about the logic of traffic control or whatever. The issue is that they need to obey their mommy or daddy. They need to learn to trust mommy or daddy...

Now can I say something to daughter-in-law? Nope! She's a former teacher or nurse or whatever and has no need to hear of my observation. No desire for any one's opinion on how to raise her children. No criticism of her parenting skills are allowed...

Is there any grandparent recourse? Yes... I take grandchildren, who don't mind,...home! This doesn't make for a happy in-law or out-law or son or daughter, but it works. I won't babysit, visit, have a stayover, or whatever, if I'm not in control.

Ooooh...this younger generation....

7 comments:

Sandy Jorgensen said...

Funny! I knew a woman who always counted when her little girl came to my house. We used to almost die laughing at the mom because she would go all the way to eight!Friendship with our kids is the reward of proper discipline and guidance but not until they are adults I think. :)

Debra She Who Seeks said...

The problem is that bad behaviour gets rewarded by there not being any consequences. Taking unruly grandkids home establishes consequences -- for both the kids AND their parents, LOL!

turquoisemoon said...

Sandy, You are soooo right!
Debra, AMEN

Tracy said...

URGH....there is no counting in my house nor was there ever. If my son or my students don't listen, there is a choice given; one being the direction and the other being a consequence which I follow up everytime...sometimes I wish I hadn't issued the consequence but my son learned that I meant what I said.
double URGH....

Teresa Evangeline said...

The question that I have to ask is, When did the kids take control? This current generation of very young people need stronger guidance, methinks. Kids need and WANT rules, even when they try to break them. It's part of learning personal boundaries and parents have given up on that, it seems. I was not perfect at this, by any means, but I know that when I got stronger myself about rules and regs, they respected me for it.

reanaclaire said...

Hello..coming by to visit for the first time.. I am also going to retire.. reaching my 50s a year ago! :)

Manzanita said...

More change. The parents are afraid of the kids these days. And kids know the law is on their side. Like..... a parent can't go into the kids facebook.
Young girls can have abortions without parents even knowing she's pregnant. Too much government and law. The balance is gone.