Sunday, October 10, 2010

Fried Green Tomatoes...or They're Not My Tomatoes

Remember Kathy Bate's character in Fried Green Tomatoes?

There's one scene, in a parking lot, when this young thang takes her parking spot???

Well I've never been an "Evelyn Couch" and never before has anything like that ever happened to me...but it did today!

Was having a great day...a beautiful fall day! I decided to take Sophie, my Cairn Terror, to the dog park for the first time. She's very territorial around the house, so I was worried. We put LD down last month and she's been kind of down, but I thought I'd give it a try. I figured it would do her good to be around some other dogs and to be able run around. She did wonderful and I was so happy for her. I dropped her off back at my house and decided to make a quick run to the grocery store. With short list in hand, I was off...

I finished my shopping and got in line. I noticed two cans of tomatoes sitting on the ledge by the dividers. The cashier was surly...a new guy, but I didn't let that dampen my spirit. Then I noticed that the cans of tomatoes had been included with my groceries. I moved them to a spot near the register and commented that they weren't my tomatoes and proceeded to start sacking my groceries, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the guy behind me, started giving me the what for. I started batting my eyes in total disbelief. The guy came unglued on me and the surly clerk's face showed complete delight. WTF??? This came out of nowhere. More eye batting...my mind started thinking, "did I do anything wrong or bad?" No...I hadn't! But, what was going on? I finally asked the man behind me, "What is your problem?" He got louder and continued on his tyrate. I paid my bill and this even pissed him off. More comments were made. I left the store and just sat in my car for a few minutes to try to figure out what had just happened. The man, his wife, and 3 kids came out and with a glare, he got in his car and drove off. It really upset me...then I got to laughing. I said to myself, "I must be an Evelyn Couch!" I've become a Buddhist and supposed to practice equinimity, peace, right view, right speech (this was very, very hard for me), right action. It touched on the Eight Worldly Concerns, too. Attachment to praise, hearing nice words, and feeling encouraged. Aversion to getting blamed, ridiculed, and criticized. Attachment to sense pleasures in general. Aversion to unpleasant experiences. If this was a test, I failed! ...and I think I could use a trampolene...

10 comments:

Teresa Evangeline said...

I also like practicing The Four Agreements, as put forward in a little book by don Miguel Ruiz:
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don't make assumptions.
3. Don't take anything personally.
4. Do the best you can.

Sometimes, it's really hard for me to practice #3. It sounds like you did great on all four counts. :)

But, the trampoline sounds good, too.

I really liked that movie.

turquoisemoon said...

OOh no...I failed. But, this is why Buddhism is called a "practice"
I really liked that movie too! I loved all the characters. I've never heard of The Four Agreements. I'll have to get it. I think I can do #4...LOL!

Arkansas Patti said...

You can be eternally grateful that you weren't the one going home with that man. He would stress any belief.

Teresa Evangeline said...

I agree with Arkansas Patti. : )

turquoisemoon said...

ha ha ha...I too agree with Arkansas Patti!!!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

For sure! The ones I feel sorriest for are the wife and 3 kids. They have to live with that rage-aholic. You handled yourself well in a very dysfunctional situation.

(And P.S., speaking of movies, one of my all-time favourite scenes is also the "those aren't pillows" scene from Planes, Trains and Automobiles! I love how they try to re-establish their sense of masculine normalcy by immediately talking about football. Gosh, I pee my pants laughing every time I see that scene. How I miss the great John Candy . . . .

Kristy said...

Lynne, I am totally with you on this one, but it sounds like you handled it MUCH better than I would have. In the fact of active aggression I become about as un-zen as you can get and as a result, I end up kicking my own ass. In a situation like this, if I could just accept that a man like him is obviously unstable and suffering, and then LET IT GO, I'd do okay. But I'd probably end up engaging him in some way and then spend two days kicking myself for it and feeling like a horrible person. So yes. It's a practice. And it is NOT easy, is it.

turquoisemoon said...

Debra, I feel sorry for his wife and children. I'm sure, that if he could be abusive with a complete stranger, that he's probably abusive at home. I really miss John Candy too... I loved him in Vacation. He doesn't have many lines, but the ones he had were classic.
Kristy, Nope, it's not easy at all, but I'm really working on compassion and trying to understand forms of suffering.

Kittie Howard said...

This is the third time I've returned to your post. The previous trips either the phone or something pulled me away...and I thought I'd misread what I'd read. But, no, I hadn't. That was one screwed-up guy. An anger threshold like his is scary. Like others who commented, I feel for the wife and kids. And like the others said, you handled the situation far better than I would have. I probably would have said something then kicked myself that I'd said anything or that I hadn't said enough, lol.

And I loooooove both movies....

I Wonder Wye said...

I have no words...well, okay i do, but --wonder who peed in his coffee??!